5 Years, 4 States. 3 Houses, 2 Careers, and 1 Crazy Two Year Old

All week (cough month) I have been dreading tomorrow. You probably think that is a horrible thing to say, especially if you know what tomorrow is...but many of you who know me know I'm a total sap and romantic and dates are a big deal to me. I love birthdays, I love anniversaries, I love holidays, I even love my work anniversary. To me, it is such a time of reflection, nostalgia, happiness, and it makes you stop and savor the time that has passed in that year, good or bad. You savor the good and learn from the bad. My wedding anniversary is a huge one, probably the dearest to me, save Mason's birthday. Especially since joining the Navy, I have loved looking at where ever the year has taken us and all we've accomplished. Our favorite thing to do is watch our wedding DVD, laugh and cry (me mostly doing the crying) and talk about everything that's happened. So why was I dreading tomorrow? Tomorrow I have been married to James Howard Green for five years, and it will be the first anniversary I have spent away from him and unable to hear his voice. I drove sixteen hours straight to spend my first anniversary with him, 11 hours straight for our second, was holding our new baby for our third (and not quite sure what to do since he was in the same house) and last year he was supposed to be at sea and surprised me with a babysitter and night out on the town. I've known for some time we wouldn't be together this week, and as it crept closer the lump in my gut got bigger.

But, a funny thing is happening as tomorrow approaches. We had always planned that on our five year anniversary we would go back to the Ocean Key Resort in Key West where we spent our honeymoon, reminiscing and toasting with a fruity drink as we ordered another basket of peel and eat shrimp.  I'm sure I'll have my moments tomorrow, but instead of the dread a new feeling is creeping in and I'm surprising myself. I'm really, really proud.  It looks a little differently today than I thought it would five years ago. (Mainly, my stupid shrimp allergy, so there will be no more peel and eat shrimp on docks.) But tomorrow I'll be back home in Carteret Co. where we got married, and James will be out in the middle of the big blue ocean training for his deployment next year. There's still a part of me that is of course disappointed we aren't in Key West this week, but the larger part of me is extremely proud of the man he's become, the women I've become, the parents we have become, and the husband and wife we've become...together. I read our vows this morning.

I, Julie, take you James to be my husband. My partner in life, and my one true love. I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow and forever. I will trust you and honor you, I will laugh with you and cry with you. I will love you faithfully through the difficult and the easy. I will always be there, whatever may come. I will give you my hand to hold and my life to keep...for as long as we both shall live.

It has been a roller coaster of a five years for us. We have had some really tough times and we have had some really amazing times. We've weathered things newlyweds shouldn't have to, and we've been on top of the world (and Sears Tower, Pensacola Fishing Pier, under the sea in Key Largo, screaming as we watched horses cross the finish line at Churchill Downs, sipping champagne at the Ritz Carlton South Beach, walking along the river in Savannah, watching a sunset in Ocracoke, cheering on the Pirates in 11 degree weather in Memphis, standing in front of the White House, and tucking in our new baby in Virginia). The past few years we've been separated more than we've been together sometimes, but you know what? We have loved each other some kind of fierce through the difficult and the easy. He still holds my hand when he drives, and he's my favorite person to laugh and cry with. We're raising an incredible kid together who is my constant reminder of the good in this world and challenges both of us, and even though there are days when he's gone and I really hate this lifestyle, there isn't a human being on this Earth that makes me more proud than James. Except sometimes me ;) I'm learning to be a little more gentle with myself, ask for help more, and sometimes just revel in the bad assness of doing it all on my own when he sails off into the big blue ocean. I'm doing really awesome things at work, Mosquito Joe is growing, and we're getting settled into our new, beautiful home. So other than James being here with me, what else could a gal ask for? I'm so incredibly happy in my career, James is kicking ass and defending America, and Mason well...Mason just makes anyone who meets him fall in love.

My favorite memory from our wedding day believe it or not was that morning when I woke up. I rolled over and looked out the window and it was pouring rain. My heart sank because we were supposed to be getting married on the beach. I started crying and then I looked at my cell phone and I had a voicemail from James. In his kind, soft spoken voice, he wished me a happy wedding day and told me he couldn't wait to be my husband. He listed a few of the reasons he couldn't wait to marry me, told me how much he loved me, that his love would last a lifetime, and he said he was counting down until he was waiting for me at the end of the aisle. In that small 30 second voicemail, my tears stopped, my heart was full, and I was at peace. Rain or shine, I was becoming his wife before God and our family and friends, and that's what mattered. That's what that man does for me still today, he sets my soul at ease.

James, where ever you are, I'm so proud of us. We've come through everything we've gone through stronger, more in love, and laughing louder than I ever imagined we could. We've lived in four states, 3 houses, launched two successful careers, and we became parents in these five years that seemed to have flown by. With all the life we've experienced in these five short years, it keeps me on the edge of my seat for what's coming next. I thought I knew how much I loved you until I watched you hold our son, so I'm already looking forward to those surprising moments in store for us down the road, and I can't wait to see what else is going to make me love you even more. There is no one on Earth I want to take this journey with than you. Thanks for asking me out, thanks for asking me to spend the rest of my life with you, thanks for marrying me, and thanks for our beautiful, hilarious, kind and crazy Mason. Happy Anniversary my love, tomorrow I'll be reliving our wedding day in my head, missing you, and counting down until my giant hug on the pier very soon.

All my love,
me