Green, Party of Four

When I logged into write this blog post this morning, there was a draft that was started in December, edited in January and then abandoned. It was such a snapshot of the difference between this pregnancy and Mason's which was blogged about every single week. Some of you know I struggle with a good bit of anxiety and have for most of my life, but it's usually kept at bay with a small dose of magical pills and some good old fashioned talk therapy. When we started trying to get pregnant I came off the medication and expected our conception to be much like Mason's...very easy! James was home from deployment, he was going into shore duty, I was in a good place at work (and we had timed it perfectly to have a baby in my off-season!)...the perfect timing. But it's almost as if I haven't learned this lesson - tell God your plans and watch him laugh. This little babe tested our patience (seems to be a theme with our children!), and it took us almost a year, but we finally got that tell tale double pink link.

Anyway, I thought that once we crossed the threshold of 12 weeks and after two wonderful doctor appointments I could relax, but it just wasn't the case. I kept looking back at the blog posts I wrote with Mason and how excited and carefree I seemed documenting every step, but I was so hesitant to do that this time around. We found out he was a boy, decided on a name and I began to feel him move inside my body. A lot, all the time - he moves nonstop as if he knows I needed the reassurance. But there were so many instances of wanting to document this journey and then my anxiety getting the best of me with a thought in the back of my head "What if something happens?" and I would walk away from the computer. Mason's pregnancy was so easy and I felt great all the time but this sweet babe has given me a different path. Nothing major has happened and he's been healthy the entire time, but I will admit it's been a tough pregnancy for me.

Now here I sit, 32 weeks (very) pregnant and I just received photos back from our insanely talented photographer who captured my sweet, growing family a couple of weeks ago. Since we only want two kiddos and this is my last pregnancy, I did decide I wanted to do some pictures of us and have one picture of me pregnant not taken on a cell phone. Looking at the pictures, I'm so incredibly glad I did it and I'm so proud of this little growing family. I'm so grateful to my husband for being the most patient, loving and adoring husband and to my little nugget who is going to be the best big brother. So! Now that I am in the waddle stages, have registered for the hospital and we're going on the tour tomorrow night I felt inclined this morning to sit down and write a little bit about this second baby boy of mine that my arms are itching to hold.

When I got the positive test, before I even had my wits back,  I plugged the date into my phone and found out my due date would be June 4, 2017. Seems like a pretty mundane date to most but it's my granddady's birthday. I remember sitting on the floor of our master bathroom crying these big tears because I felt him all around me. My first born is named after him and my second born is due on his birthday - what a sign. I found out September 27, the day after James and I celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary. I had taken a test on our anniversary hoping I would have the greatest present ever but it was negative. The next day I was sitting at work and just had this overwhelming feeling to go get another one. No idea why, but I found myself in Harris Teeter on my lunch break buying another one. Note to others - do not take a pregnancy test on your lunch break. Your face is very splotchy from crying when you get back and you look like something very bad has happened. A few days after I found out that I was pregnant, my sister called and told me SHE had news. She was expecting her second baby and we were due 4 weeks apart. The only thing more magical than being pregnant is being pregnant with your big sister. She's having her second girl and I'm having my second boy. Our parents are going to have a very, very busy summer.

We let Mason help us name him and goodness what an adventure that was. We knew we were going to use James whether it was a boy or girl, so when Mason came into the naming game he got to help us pick the middle name. My Star Wars loving little one would not come off wanting to name him Luke Skywalker. So, we are now expecting the arrival of James Walker who we will call Walker. He is affectionately known as Baby Skywalker around our house and I roll my eyes every single time but secretly love it and where it came from. It makes me smile to know my boys are named after two of my favorite men...my granddaddy and my sweet husband. He's still on target to be born in early June though measurements have him on the big side. He moves and gets the hiccups all the time and is very picky with what positions I sit and sleep in. Mason is so excited to have a brother, so excited to help us when he arrives and has a long list of things he wants to teach him. At first I was a little bummed the two would be so far apart in age, but I've come to love that Mason is old enough to understand and old enough to appreciate the changes that are happening. Every morning he climbs into bed, kisses my belly and says "Good morning, Walker!" and ends his day with kissing my belly again and telling brother goodnight. We've asked him a million times if he wants to talk through everything that's going to be different and each time he says "Guys, I know I have to share you! I'm so excited! A brother!" It makes my heart explode.

So friends, we've entered the home stretch with 8 weeks left and would appreciate all he good vibes and prayers you want to send our way! I'm going to try to be better about blogging the adventures of Green, Party of Four...they're pretty hilarious and we've got some good ones coming up. As always, thanks for following along on this journey of ours even when I'm not great about keeping you updated. And big thanks to my husband - I don't know what I did to deserve him but he keeps me grounded and sane every single day. Raising boys with him is the greatest because they have the best example to follow.