Shifting Gears
We had a pretty big event at our house last night. And it was a spur of the moment, we will probably regret this but let's go for it moment. I had been planning for a couple of weeks to start transitioning Mason to his "big boy bed" but every time I decide to do it I come up with a million reasons why I should wait. Sleep being the main one, I was expecting long nights of "Mason, get back in bed" and "Put the books away, this is time for sleep." which was daunting in my head as a full time working Mom. (And as someone who has always thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed her sleep.) Mason is 100mph of energy who really doesn't stop until we put him in that crib and then he has no choice but to face plant and sleep. He's always been a good sleeper but I kind of chalked that up to he really didn't have a choice. Anyway, last night we were getting Mason ready for bed and I looked at James and said "Let's just take the front rail of the crib down. I'm never going to be ready for this, let's just do it." So off to the garage James went to find his tools, shaking his head I picked a Sunday to do this.
While James was gone Mason and I started a battle over who was going to put his socks on. After fighting him for a few seconds and trying to reason with him, I let go of the sock and handed it to him. After 2 minutes, he looked at me with so much pride, sock on but upside down and said "I did it!!" I kind of semi laughed because he is SO me, and went about getting his pajamas out. By the time he was dressed James was back. Mason helped James unscrew some bolts and the front of the crib came off.
He was SO happy. He kept exclaiming "I'm a big boy!!!" and all of a sudden I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. These are those moments in parenting no one warns you about. There's a definite shift and you know something (or everything) is going to be different, that some stage has been reached and a level completed. I felt the same way when they put him in my arms, when he started sleeping through that snuggly 2am feeding or when we were finished with bottles. And the first time he used a spoon by himself or ran into the classroom without looking back. They just sort of come out of the blue and grab ahold of your heart. Some are a bit more expected, while others surprise you. I know so much of this is compounded by the upcoming deployment. I was so happy James was there to see the magic of the big boy bed, and already aching for moments like this one that he will miss. Or maybe it isn't about the deployment, maybe this is just being a mom and I need to get used to the wrecking ball of emotions. Letting pride in my sweet boy, happiness, and sadness exist all in one place in my heart at one time. That's being a parent I'm learning.
After watching him jump around and freak out I then became kind of worried. He was so excited I was wondering if we were ever going to get him to sleep. He picked up his Frog and Toad book and I told him we needed to read before we said our prayers. So after a deep discussion about Frog and Toad, I told him it was time to lie down to say prayers. He said his prayers, and I explained that big boy bed meant it was time to act like a big boy and he couldn't get out of bed, that he needed to sleep. He let out this little whimper and I thought he was going to start crying. I weirdly think he was feeling the same kind of change I was and wasn't sure about it for those few seconds. I wrapped him up kissed his little head and walked out and closed the door, ready for whatever was about to happen. And you know what happened? He never got out of that bed, not once. I will admit there were some tears shed in our kitchen last night as I saw pictures of that little 8 lb. 3 oz. nugget on our fridge and knowing he had somehow turned into a little boy somewhere along the way.
It is such an odd time at our house these days. Christmas is one of my favorite times of year and we've had so much fun with Mason decorating, explaining who Santa Claus is and telling the story of the nativity to him. (Ps - the donkey is all that matters.) while at the same time preparing for 2015 and the uncertainty it holds with a big deployment. We got the date James will leave in early March which has me shifting gears in my head from "I don't know how I'm going to do this" to "Let's just do this." We have a deployment brief this week on the ship, an appointment at base legal to get our wills finalized, and a list of phone calls to make to put things on hold. And that's exactly how it feels, like everything is about to go on hold, like the eight months he will be gone won't really count. I know that sounds silly, life will go on - it has to and it will...but it does feel surreal. James is so much a part of every aspect of my life that I am not sure how to compartmentalize mentally how I am going to be all the things I am with him a world away. Keep us in your prayers as we navigate these waters. They won't be easy, but we're very much looking forward to a few weeks off around the Christmas holiday to enjoy each other, family, friends and a lot of yummy food.
I wanted to share a sneak peek of some of the amazing moments our friends at Vinluan Photography captured for us in November. We'll share more after our Christmas card goes out (I'm a little behind this year!) but we are so incredibly in love with the shots she captured of sweet Mason. If you're in the Hampton Roads area and need a photographer, you should email Jen. The pictures are magic.
Thanks as always for following along on this crazy journey of ours and supporting us all along the way. We can't wait to head to Dunn and Raleigh this weekend for some family time and I can't wait to blog about Christmas in our new home and sharing it with the people we love the most.
Lots of love,
James, Julie and the not so little Mason Eldridge
While James was gone Mason and I started a battle over who was going to put his socks on. After fighting him for a few seconds and trying to reason with him, I let go of the sock and handed it to him. After 2 minutes, he looked at me with so much pride, sock on but upside down and said "I did it!!" I kind of semi laughed because he is SO me, and went about getting his pajamas out. By the time he was dressed James was back. Mason helped James unscrew some bolts and the front of the crib came off.
He was SO happy. He kept exclaiming "I'm a big boy!!!" and all of a sudden I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. These are those moments in parenting no one warns you about. There's a definite shift and you know something (or everything) is going to be different, that some stage has been reached and a level completed. I felt the same way when they put him in my arms, when he started sleeping through that snuggly 2am feeding or when we were finished with bottles. And the first time he used a spoon by himself or ran into the classroom without looking back. They just sort of come out of the blue and grab ahold of your heart. Some are a bit more expected, while others surprise you. I know so much of this is compounded by the upcoming deployment. I was so happy James was there to see the magic of the big boy bed, and already aching for moments like this one that he will miss. Or maybe it isn't about the deployment, maybe this is just being a mom and I need to get used to the wrecking ball of emotions. Letting pride in my sweet boy, happiness, and sadness exist all in one place in my heart at one time. That's being a parent I'm learning.
After watching him jump around and freak out I then became kind of worried. He was so excited I was wondering if we were ever going to get him to sleep. He picked up his Frog and Toad book and I told him we needed to read before we said our prayers. So after a deep discussion about Frog and Toad, I told him it was time to lie down to say prayers. He said his prayers, and I explained that big boy bed meant it was time to act like a big boy and he couldn't get out of bed, that he needed to sleep. He let out this little whimper and I thought he was going to start crying. I weirdly think he was feeling the same kind of change I was and wasn't sure about it for those few seconds. I wrapped him up kissed his little head and walked out and closed the door, ready for whatever was about to happen. And you know what happened? He never got out of that bed, not once. I will admit there were some tears shed in our kitchen last night as I saw pictures of that little 8 lb. 3 oz. nugget on our fridge and knowing he had somehow turned into a little boy somewhere along the way.
It is such an odd time at our house these days. Christmas is one of my favorite times of year and we've had so much fun with Mason decorating, explaining who Santa Claus is and telling the story of the nativity to him. (Ps - the donkey is all that matters.) while at the same time preparing for 2015 and the uncertainty it holds with a big deployment. We got the date James will leave in early March which has me shifting gears in my head from "I don't know how I'm going to do this" to "Let's just do this." We have a deployment brief this week on the ship, an appointment at base legal to get our wills finalized, and a list of phone calls to make to put things on hold. And that's exactly how it feels, like everything is about to go on hold, like the eight months he will be gone won't really count. I know that sounds silly, life will go on - it has to and it will...but it does feel surreal. James is so much a part of every aspect of my life that I am not sure how to compartmentalize mentally how I am going to be all the things I am with him a world away. Keep us in your prayers as we navigate these waters. They won't be easy, but we're very much looking forward to a few weeks off around the Christmas holiday to enjoy each other, family, friends and a lot of yummy food.
I wanted to share a sneak peek of some of the amazing moments our friends at Vinluan Photography captured for us in November. We'll share more after our Christmas card goes out (I'm a little behind this year!) but we are so incredibly in love with the shots she captured of sweet Mason. If you're in the Hampton Roads area and need a photographer, you should email Jen. The pictures are magic.
Thanks as always for following along on this crazy journey of ours and supporting us all along the way. We can't wait to head to Dunn and Raleigh this weekend for some family time and I can't wait to blog about Christmas in our new home and sharing it with the people we love the most.
Lots of love,
James, Julie and the not so little Mason Eldridge
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