The Arrival of James Walker Green

Walker's story, as I wrote the week he was born...

It was a Monday morning and we were eight days passed my due date sitting in the doctor's office. She had given us the weekend to see if you would make your appearance and you made no signs of showing you were ready, so she gave me a sad smile as we scheduled your induction. I was 41 weeks pregnant and barely even 1cm. She knew that wasn't easy for me because your big brother was induced and I can't use the word "fun" or "easy" to describe that (24 hour) experience. She had given me as much time as she could though, there were signs your home in my belly was ready for you to make your way into our world. I was to check into the hospital on Wednesday, June 14 at 8pm and start the long process. I thought of the irony of the date because June 14 is Flag Day, EB's favorite day. You hadn't arrived on his birthday, and it didn't look like you'd be my Flag Day baby either. Your dad gave me reassuring smile as we walked out of the office and headed home.

The next day we both let work know that Tuesday was our last day. We needed to get some stuff together because the induction process isn't a short one and this time we were going to be prepared. That afternoon we headed to the grocery store and I waddled up and down the aisles letting your Dad pick out snacks while I rolled my eyes knowing I wouldn't be able to eat them. That night we downloaded shows on Netflix and Amazon. I made the finishing touches on our hospital bags, tied up loose ends at work and crawled into bed resigned to the fate that you'd need to be evicted...just like your brother. As bummed as I was that my body (again) didn't seem to be doing it's natural job of  starting the birth process, I was so, so excited that you were going to be in my arms soon. All the anxiety of the pregnancy, all of the what ifs and the guesses of whose nose you would have, all the wondering and waiting would soon be over. I wasn't nervous or anxious and I fell asleep to the sound of your Dad watching an Orioles game...

At 4am I woke to a familiar pain in my belly. Women who haven't had children have asked me what a contraction felt like and it's weird because you don't remember....until you have another one. Then you remember very well what they feel like. I laid there in the quiet dark and realized there was a rhythm to them. I also rolled my eyes. Teases. This wasn't happening. For two hours I timed them and as your brother came into the room with his sleepy eyes at 6:30, they stopped. HA. I knew it....my body was taunting me. Your Dad and I got dressed, got your brother ready and took him to school. I was so happy we had the day together and decided I wanted a bagel and so we sat outside in the June morning at the bagel shop with the pup drinking coffee, quiet and a bit introspective. Not so weird for your Dad, weird for me. There was a lot filling up that silence. We knew it was our last day without you. He asked if there was anything I wanted to do and I suggested going to Barnes & Noble to get some books so we took Lilly Bear home and off we went. As we pulled into Barnes and Noble the familiar pang was back and I looked at your Dad. He asked me if I wanted to go home but I said no, there's no way I was going to go into labor on my own, and in we walked. I texted Granny...."Contractions are happening, but they aren't super regular. It's probably nothing." She replied with "Do you want me to go ahead and come?" and your Dad and I started a debate. I said it was silly, she was already planning to come that afternoon to be there for dinner and with Mason so we could head to the hospital at 8pm. Your Dad looked a little panicked and wanted her to start her three hour journey. I rolled my eyes and we kept walking around the book store. I danced, bounced and never stayed still while your Dad read the back of weird Sci-Fi books and I tried to get you moving. (Ps - Granny got in the car. It's a really good thing....I thought it was dumb....but stay tuned. It's a good thing.)

After we left the store (where he only got one book, who does that?) I asked if it was too early for ice cream from Chick Fil-a. "Your 10 months pregnant. Nothing is weird to me anymore." and that sweet man pulled in and got me an Ice Dream. Let's go to Target, I said. I want to keep moving. Why? Because I was still having contractions and I wanted them to continue. As your Dad pulled into the parking spot I looked at him and handed him my ice cream. "I can't eat this and I don't think we should go in there, can we go home?" The panic returned to his eyes and we headed home where I quietly started timing them. I sent a screenshot of the timing app to my sister and got the reply of "EEEEEE it's happening! Also, where's Mom?" but I was still in denial. This wasn't labor. But, all of a sudden I couldn't talk through the contractions anymore. I got in the shower and let the water hit my belly, I tried to relax and they kept coming. I somehow still did not think this was really happening. Your Dad kept coming in and out of the room to look at me, would see my face and walk out. He nervously began loading the car as I dried my hair and put the last stuff in my bag. Granny pulled into our driveway at 1:30pm and I have never been more glad. In my head I was going to be one of those people taking a cute picture on the way out of the door. You know, those "Our last photo as a family of 3!" but in reality my Mom walked in the door and as I was leaning on our kitchen island on tiptoes trying to make it bearable,  I wailed "I love you, but we have to go." The drive to the hospital was the most miserable of my life. Each contraction tore through my body as I ripped the seat belt off and begged your Dad to drive faster (and may have yelled at him to stop going over bumps.) He was either extremely understanding or very frightened because I didn't hear a peep out of him that whole drive. With your brother, I must have gotten the epidural before real contractions started because I can tell you, I don't remember them being that painful. Anyway....

We somehow finally made it to the third floor at DePaul and they got me into bed and hooked up to a monitor. The nurse came in and checked me... "You're 3cm!" and I looked from her back to your Dad.  "So am I staying?" and she laughed. A lot. "Sweetie, you're in labor. You aren't going anywhere." WHAT?!? If I hadn't been in so much pain I would have danced a jig and high fived your Dad. I WAS DOING IT. The next couple of hours I spent on the birthing ball and was doing pretty well. I had an orange popsicle and mentally felt good. I wanted to wait until I was 5cm to get my epidural because I didn't want to slow my progress and I WAS DOING IT. The thing is, I wasn't getting checked regularly. The staff was amazing and pretty much left us alone. But around 6pm they were hard and

they were fast. Your Dad said I looked like I was going to pass out so I politely asked for the epidural.  Thank god you picked a slow night at the hospital because within thirty minutes I was getting sweet relief. The next few hours went by very quickly and are a bit of a blur.

Around 7pm they broke my water....there was meconium. This made me extremely anxious, and so when they said they were going to start some pitocin to keep things going...I was slightly annoyed but I said yes. At 9:30pm they checked me and I was 5cm. How was I only 5cm?? I remember thinking "Here we go again." because your brother's labor was so long and hard with the pitocin. But, then I was super nauseous. I had a horrible, blinding headache. No one would give me anything and I didn't understand why. At 10:30 my nurse came in and made a joke about a Flag Day baby. My reply was "You don't understand how I do things. I won't have this baby before midnight because I don't do things that quickly. I was just 5cm" and she laughed. She came back 30 minutes later and checked me again. She smiled and asked if I was ready to start pushing. Wait, what? The nausea and headache were my transition point. I had gone from 5 cm to 10cm in an hour and a half.  A miserable, but effective hour and a half.

Dr. Thompson came in and I remember her saying "Before we break the bed down and call everyone in, let's do a practice set of pushes and see how you do." Your Dad raised his eyebrows and said "Watch out, she's good at this whole pushing thing" (Shut up, James.) and she sat on the edge of the bed. I did one set of pushes and she immediately stood up...."Don't push anymore." (Funny thing to tell a woman who is 10cm and ready to GO.) Then it got crazy. The bed was broken down, the pediatrician came in....your Dad was by my side and when they finally said I could push, there you were. 10 minutes later and 2 pushes I had you on my chest and couldn't stop the tears. 10 days late, hours before you were scheduled to be induced, and right on time for Flag Day at 11:14pm, you very quietly came into our lives with big open, questioning eyes.

For five years we've had your brother and each other. For five years I really didn't think anything was missing from our lives. Even when I found out I was pregnant I never really had a feeling I was completing anything. Sure, we knew we only wanted two kids, but I still never felt like there was a

piece of our puzzle that wasn't there....until you were in my arms. I've never had such a sense of peace and wholeness with you in my arms, your Dad with his arms wrapped around me and your big brother soundly sleeping in our house, knowing he couldn't wait to meet you. You were and are that missing puzzle piece. Psalm 23:5 has never had more meaning to me. My cup truly runneth over.

A few minutes later as the doctors were looking at you and making sure there were no issues, I got my wits about me and looked over at you. The tears kept coming as I realized you looked just like Mason. That big brother who wanted you to be here so badly would be so happy to realize that you were his little mini me. You had so much dark hair and you have your Daddy's sideways grin. (I now get that grin from 3 boys in my house. God has jokes.) You were very long, 22 inches and 8lbs. 9oz. and amaze us with how hungry you are all the time. You are my cuddle bug - you love nothing more than sleeping on our chests and always wake up with a smile.

 I'm so thankful for your health, your slow sleepy sideways grins, your anger when we take the bottle to burp you and that God chose us to be your parents. We can't wait to make memories with you and your brother. You have completed our little family and we'll be forever grateful.

Love,

Mom

***

You're now almost two months old and life with you is so fun, little Skywalker. That's probably because the past two nights you've slept through the night (we'll keep you.) and because you're pretty laid back, but your little smile is infectious. You're still a giant, you're in 3-6 month clothes, and you love lifting your head up and looking around. You're beginning to coo and "talk" and love watching Mason do all the crazy things he does. Outside is your favorite place to be (here we go again) and I thought you'd start to change and look like yourself, but you're still your brother's (and Dad's) little twin.

I can't get over how amazing Mason is with you. I prepared myself for some jealousy or adjustments but he truly is so excited to see you every morning. He gets your bottles, he changes diapers and you are his first and last kiss every single day. The other night as we were watching the video of your birth (his favorite) he looked over at me and said "Thanks for having a baby, Mom." I don't think I'll ever forget those little words coming from that sweet little boy. When you're reading this one day, I'm sure you'll be rolling your eyes because brothers will eventually be brothers (so I hear) but I don't know that a little brother has ever been wanted and cherished more. I can't wait to see you two grow up to be the best of friends.

So while this blog post is very late, thank you so much to everyone who has celebrated Walker's arrival with us over the past couple of months. Life as a party of four is so amazing and we have loved this special time together. Special thanks to Granny for getting us home, settled and making sure Mason was very well entertained and thanks to my beautiful friend Melissa for capturing the photos you saw in Walker's birth video. She kept me laughing in the delivery room and I'm eternally grateful for the beautiful photos of his entrance to the world. Also thanks to Meghan Ippoliti for Walker's newborn photos. You once again blew us away with your talent and we're so thankful you captured those precious moments!

To everyone who has visited, hugged our sweet babe and made Mason feel like the best big brother in the world (because he is!) we love you all so much.

Love,

James, Julie, Mason & Walker