The New Normal
Yesterday, I clicked on Facebook's "On this Day" to see what we were up to on June 2 the past couple of years, and as always the Facebook memories did not disappoint. But, the first memory that popped
up was a blog post I wrote this time last year, and as I read my own words, my heart was clenched and I was fighting tears. It was the 3 month mark since James had left for deployment and all the emotions that came along with that time. I looked at the pictures of me and Mason, how small he looks and it took me right back to sitting at that kitchen table wondering if I would make it through another six months. Reading those words was so surreal to me, was he really just gone for a whole year?
"If you're wondering what I miss most - to answer the big question - it is being his wife. The quiet moments in the evenings that are spent with my legs draped over his on the couch while I'm on my iPad and he's watching a horrible military movie, waking up in the night and hearing his slow steady breathing, and cooking dinner at the stove when he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and sneaks food off the counter."
Surreal because last night I made a brownie in a mug, got a book out and curled up on the couch with him while he watched TV. It was so insanely normal and everything I have missed. It made me stop and think about what a roller coaster the past fifteen months have been. Mason and I trucked through the nine month deployment and then James returned home in November only to leave again two weeks later for Mississippi for a five month training. But six weeks ago he got home and officially unpacked his sea bags and we've been slowly (very slowly, at times) readjusting to life as three again.
We kept talking about how we were so excited for things to be "normal" again and then it dawned on us...we've never had normal. When James and I got engaged we bought a house, we both had great jobs and life was pretty fantastic, but two months before our wedding (in the economy of 2009) James got laid off. So, we didn't start our marriage with much normalcy. Six months after we said I do, he followed his heart and enlisted in the United States Navy. As you can imagine, and if you've followed this blog, the past six years of military life have proved to be anything but steady. So friends, we're learning how to create our own normal these days. And let's be honest, what is normal anyway? I have decided for me, it is a stretch longer than four weeks when James is home! I finally have that and it's more amazing than I could ever have imagined, but it didn't come without some big adjustments. Some days it feels like he never left and others it feels like a backpack full of bricks we're both wearing. It's strange though, it was like we were wearing the backpacks holding hands (most of the time!) and trudging through a big trench. Eventually, we'd come out of the trench, slug the bags off and high five.
It's funny how you envision something happening and it's oddly exactly how you pictured it would be, but those pictures in your head never have the emotions that come along with it. We both knew that "reintegration" (the official word for a deployment service member returning home) would be difficult, especially because of how long he was gone and Mason's age so we were prepared for some growing pains. I'm learning to pass James a few of the many balls I've been juggling, I'm learning how to co-parent without an ocean between us, and I'm learning how to let go. James is learning how to go from only a few responsibilities to a million. In Mississippi (and even on the Roosevelt) his life was paced very slow, he was only responsible for himself and there was lots of free time. Now he's been thrusted into our 100mph days and evenings and for my sweet, quiet introvert, it's been a lot. :)
With all of this happening, we're immensely grateful for each other. We've worked so hard to keep our marriage at the forefront of everything and I'm so proud of how far we've come in our short seven years of marriage. We may not know what normal is, but we sure know how to rock the hell out of abnormal. Oddly enough we both have been learning lots of lessons about grace and unconditional love these day from our sweet Mason. He makes me a better person everyday.
We just got back from Mexico on the first annual Hardison-Moody-Green sibling vacation and it was AMAZING to be on a trip and relax without anticipating James leaving again. Here are some pictures from our trip. Theses sweet people were so instrumental in their support of me through the past year and I'm so grateful for them. I love them so much.
So excited to get back into the swing of keeping you all updated on all things NavyGreens. We've got a full summer lined up and I'm just feeling so grateful that my sweet James is here to experience it all. He's been gone so much the past three years, I'm spoiling him rotten. Next weekend the two of us are scooting to Richmond for a weekend alone, for Father's Day we're headed to Baltimore for James and Mason's very first Orioles game, I'm going to Atlanta for a conference this month and then it's the 4th of July - one of my most favorite holidays! The beach is gorgeous and we have two guest rooms, come see us! Stay tuned for more posts about the shenanigans of our crazy threesome.
As always, thanks so much for all of your support and prayers. We're so blessed to be surrounded by such love and thankful to be closing a giant chapter in the NavyGreens book. While we're creating this new normal, I'm so excited that we're creating it together under one roof....forever.
Have a great weekend!
Jules xoxo
"If you're wondering what I miss most - to answer the big question - it is being his wife. The quiet moments in the evenings that are spent with my legs draped over his on the couch while I'm on my iPad and he's watching a horrible military movie, waking up in the night and hearing his slow steady breathing, and cooking dinner at the stove when he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and sneaks food off the counter."
Surreal because last night I made a brownie in a mug, got a book out and curled up on the couch with him while he watched TV. It was so insanely normal and everything I have missed. It made me stop and think about what a roller coaster the past fifteen months have been. Mason and I trucked through the nine month deployment and then James returned home in November only to leave again two weeks later for Mississippi for a five month training. But six weeks ago he got home and officially unpacked his sea bags and we've been slowly (very slowly, at times) readjusting to life as three again.
We kept talking about how we were so excited for things to be "normal" again and then it dawned on us...we've never had normal. When James and I got engaged we bought a house, we both had great jobs and life was pretty fantastic, but two months before our wedding (in the economy of 2009) James got laid off. So, we didn't start our marriage with much normalcy. Six months after we said I do, he followed his heart and enlisted in the United States Navy. As you can imagine, and if you've followed this blog, the past six years of military life have proved to be anything but steady. So friends, we're learning how to create our own normal these days. And let's be honest, what is normal anyway? I have decided for me, it is a stretch longer than four weeks when James is home! I finally have that and it's more amazing than I could ever have imagined, but it didn't come without some big adjustments. Some days it feels like he never left and others it feels like a backpack full of bricks we're both wearing. It's strange though, it was like we were wearing the backpacks holding hands (most of the time!) and trudging through a big trench. Eventually, we'd come out of the trench, slug the bags off and high five.
It's funny how you envision something happening and it's oddly exactly how you pictured it would be, but those pictures in your head never have the emotions that come along with it. We both knew that "reintegration" (the official word for a deployment service member returning home) would be difficult, especially because of how long he was gone and Mason's age so we were prepared for some growing pains. I'm learning to pass James a few of the many balls I've been juggling, I'm learning how to co-parent without an ocean between us, and I'm learning how to let go. James is learning how to go from only a few responsibilities to a million. In Mississippi (and even on the Roosevelt) his life was paced very slow, he was only responsible for himself and there was lots of free time. Now he's been thrusted into our 100mph days and evenings and for my sweet, quiet introvert, it's been a lot. :)
With all of this happening, we're immensely grateful for each other. We've worked so hard to keep our marriage at the forefront of everything and I'm so proud of how far we've come in our short seven years of marriage. We may not know what normal is, but we sure know how to rock the hell out of abnormal. Oddly enough we both have been learning lots of lessons about grace and unconditional love these day from our sweet Mason. He makes me a better person everyday.
We just got back from Mexico on the first annual Hardison-Moody-Green sibling vacation and it was AMAZING to be on a trip and relax without anticipating James leaving again. Here are some pictures from our trip. Theses sweet people were so instrumental in their support of me through the past year and I'm so grateful for them. I love them so much.
So excited to get back into the swing of keeping you all updated on all things NavyGreens. We've got a full summer lined up and I'm just feeling so grateful that my sweet James is here to experience it all. He's been gone so much the past three years, I'm spoiling him rotten. Next weekend the two of us are scooting to Richmond for a weekend alone, for Father's Day we're headed to Baltimore for James and Mason's very first Orioles game, I'm going to Atlanta for a conference this month and then it's the 4th of July - one of my most favorite holidays! The beach is gorgeous and we have two guest rooms, come see us! Stay tuned for more posts about the shenanigans of our crazy threesome.
As always, thanks so much for all of your support and prayers. We're so blessed to be surrounded by such love and thankful to be closing a giant chapter in the NavyGreens book. While we're creating this new normal, I'm so excited that we're creating it together under one roof....forever.
Have a great weekend!
Jules xoxo
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