Halfway and Permanent Remidners

"Believe you can and you're halfway there." ~ Theodore Roosevelt

I'm sitting out on my back deck this morning and the grass is wet from the rainfall last night, I have a hot cup of coffee and I'm rocking in my rocking chair. It seems like the world isn't awake yet. That's probably because Mason isn't awake yet and it is actually quiet in my house, but whatever. It's peaceful and I feel peaceful. Today is the official halfway point to James Howard getting home and that gives me lots of strength. 

We've had a really busy four and a half months. That is a lot of long days, hectic weekends, home renovations, birthdays, tears, laughs, emails, texts, take out dinners, bottles of wine, visits from my favorites, and bombarding their homes with my chaos. I won't say that it flew by for us, but the first half is under our belt and we hear it is all downhill from here! The Roosevelt continues to be a show of force in the Arabian Gulf and is making this country extremely proud with their assistance in Operation: Inherent Resolve. James is doing well though the struggle of being away from his people is wearing on him, as you can imagine. Thanks to everyone who has sent him packages, letters, pictures, and snacks - he's so grateful and it makes him feel a little closer to home! He's had some pretty incredible experiences in England, Bahrain and Dubai especially. I bought him a GoPro before he left and told him if I couldn't see the world with him, he needed to bring it home to us. So we'll be sure to share lots of footage when he sends the memory card. 

This week has been a big week marking the halfway point and I did something pretty incredible yesterday to celebrate. I didn't mean to do it yesterday - but fate kind of intervenes sometimes. I have wanted a tattoo of a swallow for awhile now. After James deployed I started looking at ideas and what I wanted and where I wanted it and I finally settled on the idea. I found an example on my phone and stared at it for a few months to make sure this is really what I wanted. James got to pick the placement and he picked my right wrist. I walked into Trinity Tattoo Co. on my lunch break yesterday to make the appointment and out walked Jason. "I just had a cancellation, want to do it now?"  I paused. But, before I could think I blurted out "Sure let's do it." (Who gets a tattoo on their lunch break?) I sat down while he started drawing out what I wanted and weirdly I never got nervous. When he turned his paper around and showed me the drawing, it was perfection. Jason did

an incredible job and I'm so grateful. While he was letting the stencil on my arm dry I said to myself more than anyone "I've given birth, I can handle this." To which he replied "It's a whole different feeling." Awesome, thanks Jason. (And how does he know? He's never given birth. I don't think...) This is my second tattoo, but my first one was so long ago I didn't really remember the sensation and it's probably a good thing. Some parts of my wrist I could sit there and tolerate all day, others felt like the needle was going through my wrist. Pain is beauty, right? Yes because when he finished and wiped my arm off, I looked down and broke out in a huge grin (and might have teared up a little bit) it was absolutely perfect. I knew in that instant that I was 100% happy with what I had selected and the job he had done. Good thing, huh? Because it was DONE.

So after much fanfare and build up here is my new, beautiful tattoo...

This tattoo has pretty big significance to me. If you aren't familiar with swallows I'll tell you a little bit about them. They mate for life and they are fierce protectors of that mate. They may migrate to find food, but they always return home. Because they tend to be oceanic birds, before technology sailors used to watch for swallows. When they saw the birds they knew they were close to land and almost home. I added the infinity to symbolize everything this deployment has taught me about my marriage and myself - eternity, empowerment, and everlasting love. And the swallow? He's close to being home. It is the perfect reminder of how far we've come and a tribute to this incredible journey. I woke up this morning still obsessed with it and the incredible job Jason did drawing exactly what I wanted. When I sent James the picture his reply was "If you're a bird, I'm a bird." Isn't the Notebook every guy's favorite movie? No? Okay...

I hear the nugget calling my name so off I go to start another day.  Thanks for reading along on this journey - I know I haven't blogged as much lately but I'm trying to live in the moments with Mason and sometimes writing about it becomes hard. Survival method I guess, because living these days without my "person" here to share it with is hard. Writing means reflecting and that's where it gets tough. Not being close to him is much harder than I ever thought it would be, but it's making me into a stronger person than I ever thought I could become. James is truly my hero. I am constantly saying prayers of thanks for people like him who have to be apart from their family for extended periods of time to keep this world of ours as safe as they can possibly can. 

I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday - somehow I'm planning a three year old's birthday party. I don't know how he got this big, but he's keeping me on my toes. He's the ultimate mini-me. He's so curious, headstrong, kind, smart and the funniest person I know.

Stay tuned - I'll blog when he's actually three and we've celebrated with all of our friends and family in North Carolina. We can't wait to see all of you and bask in the love that everyone has for my sweet Mason. As always, thanks to everyone who checks on us. Your texts, calls and emails asking how I'm doing mean more than you will ever know.

Until next time,

Jules xoxo