My Father's Day Wish to James Howard

When I think of the birth of Mason there are so many tiny moments that come together to make this one beautiful flash that goes through my mind. Welcoming him into this world was the most amazing thing I've ever done - but watching James become a father on that rainy morning was something that I'll never forget. Most people talk about the first time they hold their child being the first moment of parenthood and James might tell you the same. He might say the first time he held Mason is when he felt like a Dad, but I remember it a little differently. When they finally placed Mason on my chest, I wearily looked up at James who had these big huge tears streaming down his face and he whispered through catching his breath... "That was amazing." That moment to me - watching James see his child coming into the world and on my chest - is when James Howard become a father.

He always says to me how proud he is of me because my role in our military life is so much harder than his, keeping the house together, taking care of Mason, working full time...and maybe once upon a time I agreed with him. I don't anymore. I get the blessing of being with Mason every single day and watching him reach these silly milestones like blurting out "Oh shit guys." from the backseat, realizing he knows how to open the refrigerator door now and sneaking grapes, asking to sit on the potty for the first time and all those nature walks after work. My sweet James doesn't always have that luxury. He's often saying "See you soon buddy" (we don't do goodbyes) and he's often leaving notes for me on the kitchen counter when he's leaving on a big boat long before the sun comes up.

Through all of the see you later's and the weeks we're apart and the moments he misses, he's still the constant in both mine and Mason's life. This blog to me in a way is my history record. One day when I'm gone and I've had this printed and turned into little books for my kids, they'll be able to read about times in their lives they can't remember. So as they're reading I hope they know that from the moment they took their first breath, they were already so amazingly blessed with the best Dad in the world. He's an amazing example and everything I want Mason to be - hardworking, kind, nerdy, hilarious, humble, compassionate, and he's loved our family with every ounce of his being.

Happy Father's Day James Howard. I thought I knew how much I loved you, then I saw what kind of Dad you were. It makes my heart full anytime I have you and Mason in the same room, even if you're crunching ice, stealing all the blankets and giving into Mason's every whim. We love you bigger than all the oceans.

Love,
Jules and your Little Man